Do I Wanna Know!
by ButterMyButtAndCallMeABiscuit
Summary: ...After all, who doesn't beat the meat, smack the sack, or whatever? Why was Raydor overreacting! Raydor/Rusty, because I'm kinky. M for a reason, and some OOC, so no flames in my PMs please.
1. Chapter 1

"I think...that Rusty needs a male figure in his life." Sharon says slowly. She was rarely nervous, but approaching Buzz, especially _Buzz_, with this was hard.

"I think so, too. Congrats on you and Flynn getting married," Buzz chuckles.

Sharon tries to grin, but she couldn't. The dread in her chest held her back from the display of friendliness."Very funny, Francis."

Buzz flinches."I hate that name. We're even. So, you want me to get Provenza to step up, or...maybe the big brother program. Is he too old? He could probably _be_ the big brother!"

Sharon shakes her head."I was wondering if...oh, Buzz." It was after hours, and she was ready to go home. So was Rusty, who was in her office, snooping around, but she couldn't take him home. She hated to say it, but she couldn't. Having him in the house was way too awkward for her, and for him as well. Some time apart would help them.

Buzz blinks."What?"

"Rusty can't stay with me tonight." Sharon says, sounding small and meek. She knew it was out of character, so she straightens."I have...a problem, and I need to be on my own for a while. Maybe a week."

The techie shrugs."Sure, I just want to know...why?"

Raydor clenches her teeth, and after she does, she begins to speak."Last night, I..."

xXxXx

_Raydor kicks off her shoes, sighing at the relief. Dr. Scholl's didn't do much for her. She was hoping Rusty was asleep. When she had told him she was working late, being the usual teenager, he made the "awesome, I'm gonna be up all night playing chess and watching TV" comment. She had simply shook her head and told him to be safe._

_Now, at home, she realized he wasn't walking his talk. His light was off, and he moved in his sleep. She moves a bit deeper into the darkness of his room, and notices that there was a small light under the blankets. Rusty was obviously playing possum, and Sharon, playing into his little game, moves even closer. As soon as she reaches him, she quickly snatches the blanket off of his upper body._

_"Sharon!" He snaps."What the hell are you doing?!"_

_"Oh, Rusty!" She squeaks."I apologize, I just thought you were reading with a flashlight, but, not..."_

_Raydor panics, looking at the cover of the magazine. Where in the hell would Rusty get the latest edition of _Playboy_!? _

_"Sharon, please get out of here! God, I can't believe you did that!" Rusty groans._

_Raydor felt like a kicked puppy."I just thought you were playing around...well you were, but not what I was thinking!"_

_Rusty flushes, half from anger and half from embarrassment."Oh, please, Sharon...I'm begging you not to tell anybody!"_

_"Your secret is safe with me!" Sharon says, dashing out of Rusty's room, and, even though she despised having his bedroom door locked, she shuts it tight behind her, wondering what she could say to Rusty in the morning. "This is natural"? "Everybody does it"? Maybe "Don't be embarrassed, even I do it"? Okay, that last one is out..._

xXxXx

"Woah, woah, so Rusty was smacking the sack and that automatically means he needs a 'male figure'? Looks like he's doing fine with that magazine I got him." Provenza had walked in by now, and was shaking his head at Sharon's slightly confused tone while sitting next to Buzz.

"Y-you got that?" Sharon gasps."Buzz, you should have asked my permission!"

Buzz shakes his head."Sharon, not all us boys have the time nor funds to work our way into a woman's pants...or skirts, or whatever. Rusty is a young boy, and it's only natural-"

Raydor clears her throat obnoxiously."Yes, Buzz, I understand that. I know about the birds and the bees! But the next time Rusty wants to rub his stinger, he is _not_ doing it with that magazine!"

"So...I assume you don't want Rusty at my house now?"

Provenza rolls his eyes."Congrats, Buzz. Have they put you in Mensa yet?"

Ignoring Provenza, Raydor huffs."Well, not anymore! No offense, Buzz, but that is illegal! Rusty is a..."

"Correction. Rusty is _not_ a minor. He's 18 and can look at porn, and when I give it to him, that is equally legal."

"But it's not good for him! Seeing those...unhealthy women in compromising positions...one of them had..._fluids_ on her face!"

Provenza chuckles."Maybe he spilled his milk."

"Very funny, Lieutenant!" Sharon scowls.

Buzz shrugs."Well, Captain, if he doesn't have a healthy sex drive, then he'll end up like Provenza-"

"Meaning?!"

"-Old, shriveled up, and useless in reproduction of any kind." Buzz sighs."Don't you want grandkids?"

Provenza and Buzz crack up laughing, turning pink in chuckles.

"Well, Provenza, I am sure you are very...healthy...so Rusty will be too. Not meaning he'll never have..._sex,_ just not..."

Buzz smirks."Well, I also heard that if you don't have a healthy sex drive, then you'll be more snarky and sarcastic and grumpy. Sort of like...our good friend Provenza here!" Buzz tosses his arm around Provenza, squeezing him to give him a hint.

"Huh? Oh! Uh, I hate these kids and their Playstations and skateboards...whatever happened to hopscotch and jumping rope?" Provenza grumbles.

Raydor clears her throat."I'll drop him by tomorrow." And promptly leaves.

Provenza, after she was gone, says,"I thought hopscotch was fun."

Buzz turns and begins to shut down his system, saying,"Provenza, she's gone."

"No, but really, it's fun...I can't wrap my head around all this technology. Get one type, another comes out as soon as you leave the shopping centre. Such a waste of money!" Provenza walks out, still mumbling.

Buzz watches the lights on his equipment go out. While he does, he imagines why Raydor seemed to act so wildly.

After all, who doesn't, er, "smack the sack"?


	2. Chapter 2

Raydor's house wasn't always in tip-top shape, but it was obvious Buzz couldn't care less. There were clothes everywhere, dishes stacked in the sink. There were a couple of plates thrown on the table.

"Wow. Is this what they call a bachelor pad?" Rusty says, picking up a sock and ogling it before throwing it.

"Bachelor, no. Pad, yes." Buzz sighs."To be a bachelor, you have to be looking for a woman."

"You're not?" Rusty raises an eyebrow.

Buzz shakes his head."No, not really. I just want to work and sleep and eat. Unless a supermodel comes to my house and says she wants me to take her out on a date, I'm single and not looking."

Rusty shrugs."I guess that's true. So, um, where am I sleeping?"

"My bed. I almost always end up passing out on the couch anyway," Buzz shrugs.

Rusty shifts."Are you sure you don't want to pass out on your bed?"

Buzz laughs."No, no, it's fine."

Rusty sits on the couch, head in hands. As Buzz kicks his shoes off, he notices this, and sits next to him.

"Why would Sharon throw me away like that?" Rusty sniffs.

"It has been a long time since she has dealt with the process of male growth or whatever." Buzz sits."Maybe she's breaking out the skills."

"She probably thinks I'm disgusting," Rusty mumbles, as if he had never heard Buzz.

"No way!" Buzz shakes his head."Nah, that's not it. Maybe the magazine made her upset."

"You gave it to me!"

Buzz nods slowly,"Yeah, but it's sacred! You should've known she would be coming home soon!"

"Well, maybe you can send me a warning text next time." Rusty growls.

"I left before her."

Rusty sighs roughly.

xXxXx

"Flynn, I don't think Rusty can stay with me anymore." Sharon pours some more tea for her guest, shaking her head. Flynn had wolfed down every bit of food she had made. When was the last time he had had a homecooked meal? Matter of fact, when was the last time she made one?

Flynn was simply baffled."Just...you mean, for tonight, right?"

Sharon shakes her head slowly."I mean...permanently."

"All because you caught the boy handling his underbelly urges? That seems a bit extreme, Sharon, even for you."

"'Even' for me?" Raydor raised an eyebrow.

"Even for you." Flynn obviously didn't see her offense, so Sharon continues.

She sighs,"I have a problem. A big problem. I think I need to get help, I don't even know what to do!"

"Okay, okay, calm down Sharon. What is this huge problem?" Flynn says, desperately curious after an hour of rambling from Sharon.

"I think I'm in love," Sharon sighs, heart beating so hard she thought it would wreck her ribcage.

Flynn scoffs."So what, you have a boyfriend. Rusty will wanna meet the guy and call it a day."

"But Andy, you don't-"

"He isn't a criminal or nothing, right?"

"Andy-"

Flynn sighs."Sharon, don't worry about it. And...what's in this vegetable mix?" Flynn said, sounding a little weird.

"Carrots, broccoli, corn, cauliflower..."

"The brownies?"

"I used a bit of peanuts and some chocolate mix...Andy, are you okay? You look a little nauseous."

"Nuts?! I'm allergic!"

"O-oh! I should have asked, I..."

Raydor looks at Flynn, and he looked awful. His face was purple, his tongue was swollen, and he had red rashes all over his arms.

"Flynn?!"

He didn't respond, and he was wobbling and shaking.

"Andy! Andy, come on!"

"My EpiPen," he rasps."In my satchel!"

Raydor empties his satchel quickly, and pulls out the pen."Uh, okay, where?!"

Andy tries to talk, but immediately fell over. He couldn't breathe!" Sharon, panicking, puts the needle in his thigh, reaching for her phone to call 911.

"Flynn, come on, talk to me!"

Flynn takes a huge gasp of air.

"I'm calling the paramedics," Sharon says nervously.

"No, no, don't," Flynn rasps."I just need some water..."

Sharon nods, rushing to get a glass of water. She was relieved that he was okay. She felt bad because she was mostly relieved because she needed to talk, and Provenza wasn't the best choice. Andy drinks the water savagely, then hands it back to her, thanking her.

"Now, about this 'in love' thing. I know this guy?" Flynn says, getting up unsteadily.

Raydor nods, grabbing his hand. She helps him sit down, still worried."Yes. You do."

Flynn's eyes widen."Oh...I should've known! The way you looked at me, the way you-"

"Andy! How scandalous, I never!" She puts her hand to her mouth.

Andy raises an eyebrow."Provenza?"

"No!"

"Buzz?"

"No!"

"Sykes?"

"_Andy_!"

"Okay, not Sykes. Morales?"

"Andy, no, it's...it's..."

"Julio?!"

"It's Rusty!"

Flynn pauses."I know...you're like his mother. That's what you mean? Not in love, you love him as your son. Like that?"

"No," she whispers."I'm in love with him. It's crazy, isn't it?"

"So you're...a...y'know...cougar?" Flynn blushes.

"No! No," she snaps."I just know that...I cannot be around him."

Flynn shakes his head slowly."Wow. Woooooooooooow."

"I know. You think I'm crazy."

Flynn shakes his head again."Course not, Sharon."

Raydor hugs him, saying,"And you won't tell anyone?"

"No, no."

Raydor smiles. Flynn was one of the few real friends she had, and she was glad she hadn't lost him.

"More...more water?" Flynn says, holding out his glass sheepishly. Raydor laughs and takes it.


End file.
